Edit Is a Four Letter Word, con't
The letter I is for:
Incorporate word and sentence variety
“Variety is the spice of life” someone once said. Redundancy is quite the opposite, and if our lives held nothing new and exciting, they would be very boring. This is so very true of writing. We must strive for variety and not accept redundancy. Shake up your writing! Bring it to life with spice!
Word Variety:
To incorporate word variety, we must understand redundancy. Redundancy includes repetitiveness as well as excess, but it is useful for emphasis, for remembering something difficult, and for establishing a mood. Often we use more words than needed to express an idea, or we repeat ourselves unintentionally. Redundancy in oral presentations and in writing, unless needed for emphasis, is not a positive trait for an author. Using redundant phrases and words shows thinking errors, and does not ease the flow of your writing.
There are several types of redundancy, and the following situations often harbor unnecessary words that can be easily corrected.
1. Repetition of
....a. Pronouns (I, he, they, etc.)
....b. Boring verbs (is, was, had, got, etc.)
....c. Adjectives and qualifiers (really, so, a lot, fantastic, very, etc.)
2. Two words which indicate the same meaning (Tautology)*
3. More words than are needed (Pleonasm)
4. Phrases when a word would convey the same meaning
*The terminology is unimportant, but expanding your vocabulary is always important.
1. Repetition of Pronouns, boring verbs, and adjectives and qualifiers
We use the same vocabulary constantly. Often we write as we speak. It is much easier to say he did this or that; we went here or there. We are concentrating on getting ideas across to someone, but are not concerned with how we state those thoughts. We have all been taught not to say I over and over, so we do try to avoid that, but what about the other common pronouns? We don’t realize how often we use the same simple verbs or constantly say a lot, awesome, fantastic, etc. Do you every use a thesaurus?
....a. Pronouns
The easiest way to recognize our redundant vocabulary use is to circle all the pronouns in your story, and omit what you can by using names or reworking your sentences.
Original:
After Rob left the house, he stopped by Rachel’s to pick her up for the show before she left on her own.
Revised:
Rob left the house in time to grab Rachel so they could ride together to the show.
Four pronouns were narrowed to one.
....b. Boring Verbs
(See the previous post: Edit by Rewording)
Word variety includes using exciting verbs rather than boring ones. Check your sentences for overused verbs that are forms of to be and exchange them for verbs which show action. Limit your use of common verbs such as had, have, get, take, etc. If necessary keep a list of the verbs you tend to use and some more exciting replacements for them.
To find these boring verbs in your writing, take a pen which differs in color from that you used to write and circle all the boring verbs. Then with another pen circle the non-boring verbs that you used more than two or three times. Now replace these verbs in a variety of ways.
You may substitute one verb for a better one.
Original:
Sam ran down the hill and came home before the storm.
Revised:
Racing down the hill, Sam arrived before the storm.
You may restructure or combine your sentence to eliminate a verb.
Original:
Orin was late for school, and he was panting when he reached the room.
Revised:
Panting, Orin entered the room just after the tardy bell.
....c. Adjectives and qualifiers
The over use of words which describe (adjectives) or limit a noun (qualifiers) are no different than any other redundant word: limit them; remove them; change them.
Original:
We really had a fantastic time with a lot of our friends. We always enjoy their company, and we always exchange a lot of gifts. What a fantastic night!
Revised:
We had a wonderful time with our friends, enjoying their company and exchanging gifts. What a fantastic night!
In the revision, no word is repeated…except a.
2. Tautology, the error of saying essentially the same thing again in the same sentence
Many of these phrases are so blatantly used in our culture that we do not realize the inaccuracy.
Advanced forward
Future outlook
False facts
Few in number
Usual custom
He wrote his own autobiography.
Let us glance briefly at the facts.
The reason was because….5.
3. Pleonasm, having extra words in a sentence than can be deleted without changing the meaning or structure of the sentence
Original:
Deep puddles of water wrestled against….
Revised:
Deep puddles wrestled against….
4. Phrases replaced by one word6.
The reason is because……….because
Based on the fact that………..because
In regard to…………………..about
Despite the fact that………….although
At this time…………………..now
In the very near future……….soon
Actual experience……………experience
Cancel out……………………cancel
Sentence Variety:
Sentence variety means every story needs to have sentences that vary in length and in structure. Reading short, choppy sentences does not allow good flow of ideas and events. Reading lengthy sentences gives the piece a pretentious air, makes it difficult to wade through the extraneous words. Either situation will not encourage your reader to continue through the story. A variety of short, simple sentences along with compound and complex sentences provides the diversity to keep your reader interested.
Short sentences are used to emphasis a point and to give impact to an idea. Compound sentences link together closely related ideas. Complex sentences show relationships between more important ideas over supporting ideas. Careful use and placement of the various types of sentences adds power to your writing.
Simple: He left yesterday.
Compound: He left yesterday, and he took nothing with him.
Complex: After leaving yesterday and taking nothing with him, I knew it was over.
Add details to improve the overall structure and to provide an opportunity for more exciting verbs. Do not have most of your sentences with the subject-verb pattern. Use phrases to alter the structure.
Original:
Sarah wasn’t happy at school because she had few friends.
Revised:
Having few friends reinforced Sarah’s dislike for school.
Sentence Phrases
Using several phrases in your sentence allows you to alter the sentence structure. The easiest way is to develop phrases for your sentence that tells where, why, when, and how. Those phrases can then be move to various locations to determine which way sounds best.
Example:
Matt ran. (kernal sentence)
Matt ran home. (Tells where Matt ran.)
Matt ran home to arrive before the letter carrier. (Tells why Matt ran home.)
Matt ran home yesterday. (Tells when Matt ran home.)
Matt ran home quickly. (Tells how Matt ran.)
Sometimes you may wish to use several of these phrases, but seldom do you want to use them all. Often after you construct the phrases, you may wish to change the verb and alter some of the phrases.
There are three locations for any phrase: the beginning, the middle, the end. Some sound better in one place than the other. For this reason, practice moving them from place to place to determine what sounds best. Also, commas are used after a phrase that begins a sentence and sometimes if a phrase is in the middle of the sentence.
Examples:
Yesterday, Matt raced home quickly to arrive before the letter carrier.
Matt raced home quickly, yesterday, to arrive before the letter carrier.
Quickly, Matt raced home yesterday to arrive before the letter carrier.
To arrive before the letter carrier, Matt raced home quickly.
To arrive before the letter carrier, Matt raced home quickly, yesterday.
As you can see, the yesterday in the fifth sentence is not smooth. Some are better than others, but this gives you some variety.
Using a gerund for sentence variety
A gerund is a verb with an ing ending. For this sentence structure, your subject must be doing two activities at the same time. Note the comma before the gerund.
Original:
Jason picked at his food.
Jason fed the dog when no one was watching.
Revised:
Jason picked at his food, feeding the dog when no one was watching.
Paragraph variety:
Just like a single word or a short sentence gives emphasis to an idea, so does a short paragraph. Each of these stands out among the average size, but they all lose their emphasis if overused. Make them count where needed.
Remember: Overuse of any word or structure devalues its impact.
Next, the letter T in that Four Letter Word Edit.
T is for Take Time to Read Your Story Aloud.
Source (adapted from):
Cheney, Theodore A. Rees. Getting the Words Right: How to Revice, Edit & Rewrite, Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati, OH, 1987.
6. ibid., p. 64-66.
©Aulicino 5 Dec 2008
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Draft as Many Versions as Needed for Clarity, Part 3
Edit Is a Four Letter Word, con't
The letter D is for:
Draft as many versions as needed for clarity
Part 3: Edit by Rewording
Often rewording means to make substitutions that improve your writing. Individual words or phrases can be omitted or altered. Making these changes can lead to accurate, clear writing. In rewording there are several areas to examine.
Inspect your verbs carefully.
1. Eliminate forms of the verb “to be” (am, is, was, were, are, will be, would be, etc.) as much as possible. This verb can be reduced…
a. By using more exciting verbs and by adding commas and adjectives.
Original:
The bookcase where I sat was made of oak and was filled with law books from floor to ceiling.
Revised:
The oak bookcase rose to the ceiling, displaying volumes of law books.
b. By omitting the form of “to be”
Original:
Peering in the store window, the toddler was eyeing the spotted puppy that was lying next to the blond one.
Revised:
Peering in the store window, the toddler eyed the spotted puppy lying next to the blond one.
c. By combining sentences, most forms of the verb can be eliminated.
Original:
Her hair was bleach-blond and it was thinning. Her deep brown eyes were sparkling with mischief.
Revised:
Her bleach-blond hair was thinning; her deep brown eyes sparkled with mischief.
2. Strive for the most accurate verb possible. Every word in our language has a slightly different meaning; therefore, endeavor to find the one which expresses exactly what you wish to say. This is easily done by reading each sentence, focusing on the verb and determining what other verb could convey a truer picture of the event.
Original:
The young man was watching the women’s faces as they entered the room.
Revised:
The young man scrutinized the women’s faces as they entered the room.
Original:
The cigarette smoke encircled the room.
Revised:
The cigarette smoke engulfed the room.
3. Change passive verbs to active verbs. In reality, it isn’t the verb that is active or passive, but the subject. When the subject is doing something, there is action. Action gives the sentence a better “voice.” As you read your sentences notice if they bog down your thinking or the flow of the action. Once you notice the verb and you have transformed it to the most accurate one which conveys your meaning, see if the subject of that sentence is doing the action of that verb. Alter the sentence to remove the passive voice. If this cannot be done, you need to eliminate the sentence or realize this sentence requires the passive voice. Changing from passive to active voice can alter the meaning or it can clarify it. Understand what you intend to say and be certain your meaning is not altered with the change.
Original:
Service is provided to the diners with the utmost professionalism.
Revised:
The restaurant serves it’s diners with the utmost professionalism.
Original:
Mills End Park is the world’s smallest park and is 452 square inches. The attraction to the people is amazing. The park draws people from everywhere.
Revised:
It is amazing how Mills End Park, the world’s smallest at 452 square inches, attracts so many people.
The preposition by often indicates passive sentence construction.
The following word endings, although not passive in themselves, do attract weak verbs and passive constructions: -ion, -tion, -ment, -ance, -ancy-, ization. These endings are found in such words as, determination, , concession, announcement, realization, etc. When you notice these words in your writing, determine the verb from which they derive and try to restore the verb in the revised sentence.
Original:
The authorization to proceed came from the CEO.
Revised:
The CEO authorized us to proceed.
Original:
The concession was made by the company that the workers needed the raise.
Revised:
The company conceded that the workers needed the raise.
Original:
The announcement about their engagement came as a surprise to everyone.
Revised:
They announced their engagement to everyone’s surprise.
Scrutinize the Nouns, Adjectives and Adverbs
In poor writing, weak verbs lean on adverbs and poorly chosen nouns lean on adjectives to gain descriptive accuracy. Verbs and nouns are assisted by accurate adverbs and adjectives, but to often, a novice writer over indulges.
Original:
The tall, skinny thirteen-year-old ran quickly down the hill.
Revised:
The lanky teen raced down the hill.
Appeal to the Senses
Every reader is stimulated with words that appeal to the senses: see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. A good writer uses sensory words which convey emotion and draws the reader into the story. These words activate the reader’s mind and helps him or her recall experiences. As with everything, moderation is important. Do not use description excessively.
Original:
The pizza smelled good.
Revised:
The pizza’s spicy aroma filled the room.
Be Specific
Good writing includes concrete details rather than abstract terms. These details mimic life more closely and breathe life into the story. A good writer uses specific details which evoke images in the reader’s mind.
Original:
The old man wandered down the alley in torn and dirty clothing.
Revised:
The shell of a man wandered down the alley in tattered rags.
Remember: Choose your words carefully for clarificaton and to keep your reader interested.
Next, the letter I in that four letter word Edit.
I stands for:
Incorporate word and sentence variety
Source (adapted from):
Cheney, Theodore A. Rees. Getting the Words Right: How to Revice, Edit & Rewrite, Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati, OH, 1987.
The letter D is for:
Draft as many versions as needed for clarity
Part 3: Edit by Rewording
Often rewording means to make substitutions that improve your writing. Individual words or phrases can be omitted or altered. Making these changes can lead to accurate, clear writing. In rewording there are several areas to examine.
Inspect your verbs carefully.
1. Eliminate forms of the verb “to be” (am, is, was, were, are, will be, would be, etc.) as much as possible. This verb can be reduced…
a. By using more exciting verbs and by adding commas and adjectives.
Original:
The bookcase where I sat was made of oak and was filled with law books from floor to ceiling.
Revised:
The oak bookcase rose to the ceiling, displaying volumes of law books.
b. By omitting the form of “to be”
Original:
Peering in the store window, the toddler was eyeing the spotted puppy that was lying next to the blond one.
Revised:
Peering in the store window, the toddler eyed the spotted puppy lying next to the blond one.
c. By combining sentences, most forms of the verb can be eliminated.
Original:
Her hair was bleach-blond and it was thinning. Her deep brown eyes were sparkling with mischief.
Revised:
Her bleach-blond hair was thinning; her deep brown eyes sparkled with mischief.
2. Strive for the most accurate verb possible. Every word in our language has a slightly different meaning; therefore, endeavor to find the one which expresses exactly what you wish to say. This is easily done by reading each sentence, focusing on the verb and determining what other verb could convey a truer picture of the event.
Original:
The young man was watching the women’s faces as they entered the room.
Revised:
The young man scrutinized the women’s faces as they entered the room.
Original:
The cigarette smoke encircled the room.
Revised:
The cigarette smoke engulfed the room.
3. Change passive verbs to active verbs. In reality, it isn’t the verb that is active or passive, but the subject. When the subject is doing something, there is action. Action gives the sentence a better “voice.” As you read your sentences notice if they bog down your thinking or the flow of the action. Once you notice the verb and you have transformed it to the most accurate one which conveys your meaning, see if the subject of that sentence is doing the action of that verb. Alter the sentence to remove the passive voice. If this cannot be done, you need to eliminate the sentence or realize this sentence requires the passive voice. Changing from passive to active voice can alter the meaning or it can clarify it. Understand what you intend to say and be certain your meaning is not altered with the change.
Original:
Service is provided to the diners with the utmost professionalism.
Revised:
The restaurant serves it’s diners with the utmost professionalism.
Original:
Mills End Park is the world’s smallest park and is 452 square inches. The attraction to the people is amazing. The park draws people from everywhere.
Revised:
It is amazing how Mills End Park, the world’s smallest at 452 square inches, attracts so many people.
The preposition by often indicates passive sentence construction.
The following word endings, although not passive in themselves, do attract weak verbs and passive constructions: -ion, -tion, -ment, -ance, -ancy-, ization. These endings are found in such words as, determination, , concession, announcement, realization, etc. When you notice these words in your writing, determine the verb from which they derive and try to restore the verb in the revised sentence.
Original:
The authorization to proceed came from the CEO.
Revised:
The CEO authorized us to proceed.
Original:
The concession was made by the company that the workers needed the raise.
Revised:
The company conceded that the workers needed the raise.
Original:
The announcement about their engagement came as a surprise to everyone.
Revised:
They announced their engagement to everyone’s surprise.
Scrutinize the Nouns, Adjectives and Adverbs
In poor writing, weak verbs lean on adverbs and poorly chosen nouns lean on adjectives to gain descriptive accuracy. Verbs and nouns are assisted by accurate adverbs and adjectives, but to often, a novice writer over indulges.
Original:
The tall, skinny thirteen-year-old ran quickly down the hill.
Revised:
The lanky teen raced down the hill.
Appeal to the Senses
Every reader is stimulated with words that appeal to the senses: see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. A good writer uses sensory words which convey emotion and draws the reader into the story. These words activate the reader’s mind and helps him or her recall experiences. As with everything, moderation is important. Do not use description excessively.
Original:
The pizza smelled good.
Revised:
The pizza’s spicy aroma filled the room.
Be Specific
Good writing includes concrete details rather than abstract terms. These details mimic life more closely and breathe life into the story. A good writer uses specific details which evoke images in the reader’s mind.
Original:
The old man wandered down the alley in torn and dirty clothing.
Revised:
The shell of a man wandered down the alley in tattered rags.
Remember: Choose your words carefully for clarificaton and to keep your reader interested.
Next, the letter I in that four letter word Edit.
I stands for:
Incorporate word and sentence variety
Source (adapted from):
Cheney, Theodore A. Rees. Getting the Words Right: How to Revice, Edit & Rewrite, Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati, OH, 1987.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Draft as Many Versions as Needed for Clarity, Part 2
Edit Is a Four Letter Word, con't
The letter D is for:
Draft as many versions as needed for clarity
Part 2: Edit by Rearranging
Unity
Often a story must be rearranged in order to create a harmony, a unity within itself. Everything aspect must blend and every area must not go beyond the intended focus. This step in revising your draft looks at the unity of individual aspects of writing. Before you begin, you need to review the purpose and direction of your writing. What is your goal for this piece? What is the focus? What message are you trying to convey?
The following areas must agree; they must be consistent throughout your writing.
1. Subject matter – Did you stay on subject or go beyond it?
2. Scope – Have you omitted some areas of your topic or have you stayed within the guidelines of your focus? Working from an outline could help keep you organized.
3. Tone – Does your story have a mood, an attitude which is consistent throughout the piece? Can the reader determine easily that your story is serious, sad, humorous, etc.?
4. Style – Does your style shine? Does the style of writing remain the same voice to the end?
5. Point of View – Did you switch point of view?
6. Characterization – Did you develop believable characters with realistic actions?
7. Scene – Do you move your reader through various scenes with ease? Do your characters interact with the scenery as needed, and is that scenery developed?
8. Tense – Are the verbs in the same tense or if there’s a reason to have different tenses, have you kept them in proper sequence. That is, if a subordinate action happens before the main action, the subordinate action must be in the past tense.
9. Sentences and Paragraphs – Does each sentence deal with similar ideas? If the ideas are distinctively different the sentences are not unified. For a unified paragraph the sentences must be related to the paragraph’s topic and be in a coherent sequence.
Coherence
A coherent story is a combination of logic and form and deals with putting the various elements of your writing in good order. This includes the sequencing of words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, paragraphs into chapters, etc.
The major methods for organizing are chronological, spatial, and from general to specific. In using chronological sequencing, decide whether your story is best told from past to the present, present to future, or present backward to the past? Or should you start in the middle, then go back and then forward? Descriptive passages are usually best suited for spatial logic. The author should move the reader’s eye in a logical sequence such as from left to right, up to down, etc. when describing a scene. When using general to specific organization or vice-versa maintain this order throughout the story. Choose the method that best fits your story and maintain its unity throughout.
All references need to be unambiguous for the writing to be coherent. You must not lose the reader through confusion. Be careful of sentences that begin with pronouns. Does the previous sentence clarify to whom or what the pronoun refers? Refrain from using multiple pronouns in a sentence as the reader may become confused as to who did what.
Be certain that phrases are in their correct places. Check any sentence with multiple pieces by moving the phrases around to make the meaning clear.
Original:
The keypunch operator incorrectly punched in a program, which created a power failure in the building where she worked for two days.
Revised:
…which created a power failure for two days in the building where she worked.2.
Smooth transitions between ideas in sentences as well as between paragraphs are important for clear understanding. When there are several ideas are of equal importance, the sentence needs a parallel structure.
Original:
She had never gone to a part alone, much less an event like this.
Revised:
She had never gone alone to a party much less to an event like this.
Original:
Readers appreciate your getting to the heart of a matter in a hurry, rather than being forced to red through paragraphs or pages to find it.
Revised:
Readers appreciate your getting to the heart of a matter in a hurry, rather than forcing them to read though…
Original:
We can attack at night or we can do it in the light.
Revised:
We can attack by night or by day.3.
When ideas are not of equal importance, the ideas must not be placed in a parallel form. Some ideas are subordinate to others, and the sentence must clearly indicate that for the reader. For these types of sentences it is best to use one of three logical orders.
1. Time – Lay out the events in the order they occurred.
2. Relationship – Show cause and effect as needed. Time order often reflects the relationship between events.
In the following example, the order of time is used. However, this sentence also shows the order of relationship…a cause and effect.
After the storm abated, I went below. Because the porthole had opened during the storm, damage to the crew’s quarters was severe.4.
3. Emphasis – Place the most important event first to emphasize its significance.
After the storm, I went down below. The crew’s quarters were severely damaged—the porthole had opened during the storm. This, after I had just conducted a storm rill in which Howard had been permanently assigned to dog down that particular porthole.
The above example does place the focus on the open porthole rather than on the storm. For this reason, the author must be wise in selecting the type of order that best fits the focus of the writing.
Smooth transitions
One of the easiest ways to have smooth transitions between sentences is to repeat a key word or a key thought from the previous sentence. Sometimes you may wish to use a synonym, but sometimes the same word works best.
Although there are some trite phrases commonly used for transitions between paragraphs, the same technique of repeating a word or phrase used with sentences can be used with paragraphs. Often the key word, phrase, or idea in the final sentence may be repeated or restructured to use in the first sentence of the next paragraph.
Another type of transition is the one between scenes. Often the author can move the reader from one scene to another with a few simple words.
Example:
Marge sat in the den at the computer, busily typing as the wind howled. Soon creaking sounds began to intensify. She ran to the windows to see what tree was soon to be history.
Next door, the McGill’s peered from their window, gasping in unison as a huge branch from the elm just missed their house.
As you can see the words next door moved the scene from one location to the next with ease.
Another method is to leave extra line of space between paragraphs indicating that extra time has passed and, therefore, a change of scene.
In some cases, the author may choose to use the last sentence of a paragraph to change the scene rather than the first sentence of the next paragraph. Sometimes, the author may only hint at a change of scene in the last sentence. This would be done to continue the rising flow of excitement.
Example:
Bent over the desk for hours, I had managed to block out the sound of the furnace starting and stopping and the creaks of the old house while trying to focus on my writing. I was under a deadline, and the pressure was mounting when…brrr-inggg! Dang, the phone!
I raced to the living room to quiet the monster, tripping on the kids' toys….
The phone ringing indicates an immediate change of scene, whether the phone is in the same room or another.
All parts of the story must be coherent, including the beginning, middle and end. Check your story to see if it flows well between these major elements. The plot is usually hinted at in the beginning and then is developed in the middle. Here the conflict becomes apparent to the point of crisis. The ending provides the resolution of the conflict and ties up any loose ends.
Remember: Although editing is a difficult and lengthy task, you will develop skills that will improve your writing in the initial stages so editing will become easier. There is much detail here, so take one step at a time. Your readers will love you for the improvements, and you will be proud of your work.
Next, the letter D (part 3 of 3) in that four letter word Edit.
D stands for: Draft as many versions as needed for clarity.
Part 3 covers Edit by Rewording
Source (adapted from):
Cheney, Theodore A. Rees. Getting the Words Right: How to Revice, Edit & Rewrite, Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati, OH, 1987.
2. Cheney, p. 59.
3. ibid., p. 64-66.
4. ibid., p. 69.
©Aulicino 5 Dec 2008
The letter D is for:
Draft as many versions as needed for clarity
Part 2: Edit by Rearranging
Unity
Often a story must be rearranged in order to create a harmony, a unity within itself. Everything aspect must blend and every area must not go beyond the intended focus. This step in revising your draft looks at the unity of individual aspects of writing. Before you begin, you need to review the purpose and direction of your writing. What is your goal for this piece? What is the focus? What message are you trying to convey?
The following areas must agree; they must be consistent throughout your writing.
1. Subject matter – Did you stay on subject or go beyond it?
2. Scope – Have you omitted some areas of your topic or have you stayed within the guidelines of your focus? Working from an outline could help keep you organized.
3. Tone – Does your story have a mood, an attitude which is consistent throughout the piece? Can the reader determine easily that your story is serious, sad, humorous, etc.?
4. Style – Does your style shine? Does the style of writing remain the same voice to the end?
5. Point of View – Did you switch point of view?
6. Characterization – Did you develop believable characters with realistic actions?
7. Scene – Do you move your reader through various scenes with ease? Do your characters interact with the scenery as needed, and is that scenery developed?
8. Tense – Are the verbs in the same tense or if there’s a reason to have different tenses, have you kept them in proper sequence. That is, if a subordinate action happens before the main action, the subordinate action must be in the past tense.
9. Sentences and Paragraphs – Does each sentence deal with similar ideas? If the ideas are distinctively different the sentences are not unified. For a unified paragraph the sentences must be related to the paragraph’s topic and be in a coherent sequence.
Coherence
A coherent story is a combination of logic and form and deals with putting the various elements of your writing in good order. This includes the sequencing of words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, paragraphs into chapters, etc.
The major methods for organizing are chronological, spatial, and from general to specific. In using chronological sequencing, decide whether your story is best told from past to the present, present to future, or present backward to the past? Or should you start in the middle, then go back and then forward? Descriptive passages are usually best suited for spatial logic. The author should move the reader’s eye in a logical sequence such as from left to right, up to down, etc. when describing a scene. When using general to specific organization or vice-versa maintain this order throughout the story. Choose the method that best fits your story and maintain its unity throughout.
All references need to be unambiguous for the writing to be coherent. You must not lose the reader through confusion. Be careful of sentences that begin with pronouns. Does the previous sentence clarify to whom or what the pronoun refers? Refrain from using multiple pronouns in a sentence as the reader may become confused as to who did what.
Be certain that phrases are in their correct places. Check any sentence with multiple pieces by moving the phrases around to make the meaning clear.
Original:
The keypunch operator incorrectly punched in a program, which created a power failure in the building where she worked for two days.
Revised:
…which created a power failure for two days in the building where she worked.2.
Smooth transitions between ideas in sentences as well as between paragraphs are important for clear understanding. When there are several ideas are of equal importance, the sentence needs a parallel structure.
Original:
She had never gone to a part alone, much less an event like this.
Revised:
She had never gone alone to a party much less to an event like this.
Original:
Readers appreciate your getting to the heart of a matter in a hurry, rather than being forced to red through paragraphs or pages to find it.
Revised:
Readers appreciate your getting to the heart of a matter in a hurry, rather than forcing them to read though…
Original:
We can attack at night or we can do it in the light.
Revised:
We can attack by night or by day.3.
When ideas are not of equal importance, the ideas must not be placed in a parallel form. Some ideas are subordinate to others, and the sentence must clearly indicate that for the reader. For these types of sentences it is best to use one of three logical orders.
1. Time – Lay out the events in the order they occurred.
2. Relationship – Show cause and effect as needed. Time order often reflects the relationship between events.
In the following example, the order of time is used. However, this sentence also shows the order of relationship…a cause and effect.
After the storm abated, I went below. Because the porthole had opened during the storm, damage to the crew’s quarters was severe.4.
3. Emphasis – Place the most important event first to emphasize its significance.
After the storm, I went down below. The crew’s quarters were severely damaged—the porthole had opened during the storm. This, after I had just conducted a storm rill in which Howard had been permanently assigned to dog down that particular porthole.
The above example does place the focus on the open porthole rather than on the storm. For this reason, the author must be wise in selecting the type of order that best fits the focus of the writing.
Smooth transitions
One of the easiest ways to have smooth transitions between sentences is to repeat a key word or a key thought from the previous sentence. Sometimes you may wish to use a synonym, but sometimes the same word works best.
Although there are some trite phrases commonly used for transitions between paragraphs, the same technique of repeating a word or phrase used with sentences can be used with paragraphs. Often the key word, phrase, or idea in the final sentence may be repeated or restructured to use in the first sentence of the next paragraph.
Another type of transition is the one between scenes. Often the author can move the reader from one scene to another with a few simple words.
Example:
Marge sat in the den at the computer, busily typing as the wind howled. Soon creaking sounds began to intensify. She ran to the windows to see what tree was soon to be history.
Next door, the McGill’s peered from their window, gasping in unison as a huge branch from the elm just missed their house.
As you can see the words next door moved the scene from one location to the next with ease.
Another method is to leave extra line of space between paragraphs indicating that extra time has passed and, therefore, a change of scene.
In some cases, the author may choose to use the last sentence of a paragraph to change the scene rather than the first sentence of the next paragraph. Sometimes, the author may only hint at a change of scene in the last sentence. This would be done to continue the rising flow of excitement.
Example:
Bent over the desk for hours, I had managed to block out the sound of the furnace starting and stopping and the creaks of the old house while trying to focus on my writing. I was under a deadline, and the pressure was mounting when…brrr-inggg! Dang, the phone!
I raced to the living room to quiet the monster, tripping on the kids' toys….
The phone ringing indicates an immediate change of scene, whether the phone is in the same room or another.
All parts of the story must be coherent, including the beginning, middle and end. Check your story to see if it flows well between these major elements. The plot is usually hinted at in the beginning and then is developed in the middle. Here the conflict becomes apparent to the point of crisis. The ending provides the resolution of the conflict and ties up any loose ends.
Remember: Although editing is a difficult and lengthy task, you will develop skills that will improve your writing in the initial stages so editing will become easier. There is much detail here, so take one step at a time. Your readers will love you for the improvements, and you will be proud of your work.
Next, the letter D (part 3 of 3) in that four letter word Edit.
D stands for: Draft as many versions as needed for clarity.
Part 3 covers Edit by Rewording
Source (adapted from):
Cheney, Theodore A. Rees. Getting the Words Right: How to Revice, Edit & Rewrite, Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati, OH, 1987.
2. Cheney, p. 59.
3. ibid., p. 64-66.
4. ibid., p. 69.
©Aulicino 5 Dec 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Draft as Many Versions as Needed for Clarity, Part 1
Edit Is a Four Letter Word, con't
The letter D is for:
Draft as many versions as needed for clarity
Part 1: Edit by Reducing
Editing takes time as I have stated. Even if you choose to write only a couple of drafts and call the last one your final, it is wise to leave several days between each draft. This allows you to get a different perspective on your story. You get a fresh new look at it if you put it aside. This will help you find questionable areas and help you discover how they may be corrected.
The purpose in editing is to make your ideas clear to your reader. There are many methods to editing for clarity, so try one at a time. Remember, draft as many versions as needed for clarity. Do not mentally state you will do only two drafts before you ever begin, but leave that door open. In doing so, you will find the light at the end and be happier for it.
The following method of editing is only one way and will be presented here in three separate sections due to the length of information. The idea of editing is to first remove chunks of text that do not fit the story or chapter. Then to gradually fine tune each paragraph, each sentence, and then your words and phrases. By looking at the large picture first and narrowing your scope, you reduce your work. Remember, editing takes time, but you’ll love the finished product as will your readers.
The major steps for this section are as follows:
Part 1: Edit by Reducing
Part 2: Edit by Rearranging
Part 3: Edit by Rewording
Remember: You write for yourself; you edit for others.
Part 1: Edit by Reducing
Nonprofessional writers are excited to see so many words on a page; however, the professional is pleased to cut their writing into precise text. It is the quality of the words, not quantity that separates the novice from the pro.
When we write we tend to record everything we can recall on the subject or situation. Writing in this manner helps us remember better, and often we are either jotting facts in the margins or writing sentences out of order as more pops into our minds. This often leads to excessive information that hampers the flow of the story.
In your first revision, look for chunks of verbiage that are not needed. How do you find these chunks to remove? Ask yourself if these pieces actually move the story forward. It is very difficult for the novice to remove parts of the story, but save these chucks as they may be revived later for another story or included in this one after alterations.
After removing the larger chunks, focus on the remaining parts and rewrite to smooth any evidence of your splicing and dicing. The reader must not realize you have eliminated sections, but see only a smooth flow of ideas.
The following is an example of reduction:
Original:
The restaurant was set back from the road approximately 100 feet. There was parking on both sides of the restaurant and the area set aside for parking was separated by an area of well-kept grass.
Revised:
The restaurant was set back bout 100 feet, with parking on both sides of the well-kept lawn.1.
As you repair your writing, stitching the story together, you may notice other smaller reductions which are necessary. However, do not complete these reductions at this time. Flag them in some way and return to this job later. Think of this as cleaning out the attic. You can only throw away so much at a time and must stop for fear of tossing something you may later regret. Putting time between your reductions will give you a better perspective on what is really needed.
Once you are ready to continue reduction, look at individual words to see if a larger word is less precise than a more simple word. The goal is clarity and accuracy of meaning. Each word has a slightly different meaning and the writer needs to use the most precise word possible.
As we scrutinize our writing we will find unnecessary words and phrases. For example, instead of writing, “…was very comprehensive in nature,” drop the in nature. Those words do not alter the meaning.
Next, the letter D (part 2 of 3) in that four letter word Edit.
D stands for: Draft as many versions as needed for clarity.
Part 2 covers Edit by Rearranging
Source (adapted from):
Cheney, Theodore A. Rees. Getting the Words Right: How to Revice, Edit & Rewrite, Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati, OH, 1987.
1. Cheney, p. 33.
©Aulicino 5 Dec 2008
The letter D is for:
Draft as many versions as needed for clarity
Part 1: Edit by Reducing
Editing takes time as I have stated. Even if you choose to write only a couple of drafts and call the last one your final, it is wise to leave several days between each draft. This allows you to get a different perspective on your story. You get a fresh new look at it if you put it aside. This will help you find questionable areas and help you discover how they may be corrected.
The purpose in editing is to make your ideas clear to your reader. There are many methods to editing for clarity, so try one at a time. Remember, draft as many versions as needed for clarity. Do not mentally state you will do only two drafts before you ever begin, but leave that door open. In doing so, you will find the light at the end and be happier for it.
The following method of editing is only one way and will be presented here in three separate sections due to the length of information. The idea of editing is to first remove chunks of text that do not fit the story or chapter. Then to gradually fine tune each paragraph, each sentence, and then your words and phrases. By looking at the large picture first and narrowing your scope, you reduce your work. Remember, editing takes time, but you’ll love the finished product as will your readers.
The major steps for this section are as follows:
Part 1: Edit by Reducing
Part 2: Edit by Rearranging
Part 3: Edit by Rewording
Remember: You write for yourself; you edit for others.
Part 1: Edit by Reducing
Nonprofessional writers are excited to see so many words on a page; however, the professional is pleased to cut their writing into precise text. It is the quality of the words, not quantity that separates the novice from the pro.
When we write we tend to record everything we can recall on the subject or situation. Writing in this manner helps us remember better, and often we are either jotting facts in the margins or writing sentences out of order as more pops into our minds. This often leads to excessive information that hampers the flow of the story.
In your first revision, look for chunks of verbiage that are not needed. How do you find these chunks to remove? Ask yourself if these pieces actually move the story forward. It is very difficult for the novice to remove parts of the story, but save these chucks as they may be revived later for another story or included in this one after alterations.
After removing the larger chunks, focus on the remaining parts and rewrite to smooth any evidence of your splicing and dicing. The reader must not realize you have eliminated sections, but see only a smooth flow of ideas.
The following is an example of reduction:
Original:
The restaurant was set back from the road approximately 100 feet. There was parking on both sides of the restaurant and the area set aside for parking was separated by an area of well-kept grass.
Revised:
The restaurant was set back bout 100 feet, with parking on both sides of the well-kept lawn.1.
As you repair your writing, stitching the story together, you may notice other smaller reductions which are necessary. However, do not complete these reductions at this time. Flag them in some way and return to this job later. Think of this as cleaning out the attic. You can only throw away so much at a time and must stop for fear of tossing something you may later regret. Putting time between your reductions will give you a better perspective on what is really needed.
Once you are ready to continue reduction, look at individual words to see if a larger word is less precise than a more simple word. The goal is clarity and accuracy of meaning. Each word has a slightly different meaning and the writer needs to use the most precise word possible.
As we scrutinize our writing we will find unnecessary words and phrases. For example, instead of writing, “…was very comprehensive in nature,” drop the in nature. Those words do not alter the meaning.
Next, the letter D (part 2 of 3) in that four letter word Edit.
D stands for: Draft as many versions as needed for clarity.
Part 2 covers Edit by Rearranging
Source (adapted from):
Cheney, Theodore A. Rees. Getting the Words Right: How to Revice, Edit & Rewrite, Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati, OH, 1987.
1. Cheney, p. 33.
©Aulicino 5 Dec 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Educate Yourself on Grammar and Punctuation Rules
Edit Is a Four Letter Word
The letter E is for: Educate yourself on grammar and punctuation rules
Volumes have been written on grammar and punctuation rules. Not only does our language constantly change, but the experts do not agree on some conventions. Different types of writing require different editing conventions. We write differently for newspapers than for books. Memoir writing is allowed more laterality than technical writing. Even publishing houses have their on editing standards.
For reasons of form and emphasis, some writers choose to break the rules. We all know that a sentence must have a subject and a verb, but for emphasis, sentence fragments are sometimes used or even one word. Paragraphs are to have a topic sentence and supporting details, but there are times when a writer uses only one sentence. In dialogue, bad grammar, and colloquial phrases are allowed. Informal writing allows contractions (I’ve, we’ll, isn’t), but technical writing does not.
For all these reasons, any writer may find it difficult to edit for grammar and punctuation.
The internet is a good reference, but use only websites which are authorities on the subject. Avoid the blogs as they allow readers to provide answers and whose authors often do not have the qualifications needed to fully understand the nuances. Editing for grammar and punctuation is not an easy task.
Reliable websites
The Perdue Online Writing Lab (OWL)
Covers the basics in an easy to understand manner and provides worksheets and answers.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/
The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation
Rated number one by teachers. You can buy a book or use some online links, complete with interactive and graded quizzes.
http://www.grammarbook.com/
Guide to Grammar and Writing
Has an extensive index, provides quizzes and allows you to ask questions.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
Next, the letter D in that four letter word Edit.
D stands for: Draft as many versions as needed for clarity.
©Aulicino 5 Dec 2008
The letter E is for: Educate yourself on grammar and punctuation rules
Volumes have been written on grammar and punctuation rules. Not only does our language constantly change, but the experts do not agree on some conventions. Different types of writing require different editing conventions. We write differently for newspapers than for books. Memoir writing is allowed more laterality than technical writing. Even publishing houses have their on editing standards.
For reasons of form and emphasis, some writers choose to break the rules. We all know that a sentence must have a subject and a verb, but for emphasis, sentence fragments are sometimes used or even one word. Paragraphs are to have a topic sentence and supporting details, but there are times when a writer uses only one sentence. In dialogue, bad grammar, and colloquial phrases are allowed. Informal writing allows contractions (I’ve, we’ll, isn’t), but technical writing does not.
For all these reasons, any writer may find it difficult to edit for grammar and punctuation.
The internet is a good reference, but use only websites which are authorities on the subject. Avoid the blogs as they allow readers to provide answers and whose authors often do not have the qualifications needed to fully understand the nuances. Editing for grammar and punctuation is not an easy task.
Reliable websites
The Perdue Online Writing Lab (OWL)
Covers the basics in an easy to understand manner and provides worksheets and answers.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/
The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation
Rated number one by teachers. You can buy a book or use some online links, complete with interactive and graded quizzes.
http://www.grammarbook.com/
Guide to Grammar and Writing
Has an extensive index, provides quizzes and allows you to ask questions.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
Next, the letter D in that four letter word Edit.
D stands for: Draft as many versions as needed for clarity.
©Aulicino 5 Dec 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Edit is a Four Letter Word
Yes, Edit—that four-letter-word which keeps many from writing and others with constant migraines. In Farewell to Arms, Hemmingway wrote the last page 39 times. When asked about this, his comment was that he did so to get it right. This may be a bit extreme, but editing takes more than one or two attempts at revising.
All of us want to leave behind our very best work. That is our vanity. However, your descendants will be grateful for whatever you write. You may choose just to write your memories and stop there, or you may wish to edit your stories and be confident readers clearly understand.
For memoir writing you should not use words to impress your reader, but rather use your natural language. Do not use words beyond your best vocabulary unless the words clarify your meaning more precisely. Your natural language is your everyday expressions, the vernacular. This natural language is used in informal situations and gives your personal history color, individuality, and variety. Even when writing dialog, use the essence of the actual speaker. Capture their personality and attitude. Editing is still important when we use the vernacular.
The language for your stories should be consistent with the tone of the events. Humor is written with a different tone than is a spiritual experience, one being light hearted with the use of hyperbole (exaggeration) while the other more sober and formal.
After writing your first draft, keeping the above tips in mind, you are ready to edit. That four-letter-word for writing is often one which is neglected for many reasons. Most people really do not know how to edit. They do not know where to begin nor understand that editing differs from proofreading.
The goal of editing is to make your reading more easily read. You must use language in a way that you do not call attention to the language, but leave the focus on the story. Language should clarify the meaning you wish to convey. The attention should be on what you wish to express and not how you express it. However, clarity is required for that result.
Books have been written on the many approaches to editing, but with the limited space of a blog, only highlights can be addressed. For the next few articles, various aspects of editing will be examined in more detail. The areas covered are as follows:
.............Educate yourself on grammar and punctuation rules.
.............Draft as many versions as needed for clarity.
.............Incorporate word and sentence variety.
.............Take time to read your story aloud.
Editing takes time. If you feel overwhelmed in the process, just focus on particular sections or aspects of the procedure. As you attempt to edit using the various methods, you will become more aware of proper writing, and you will improve the first few drafts as well as your over all writing. After corrections have been made, you will see your personal writing style emerge. If you are interested in creating that final draft to ensure clarity of your stories, be patient and work methodically toward that end. Perfection takes time.
©Aulicino 5 Dec 2008
All of us want to leave behind our very best work. That is our vanity. However, your descendants will be grateful for whatever you write. You may choose just to write your memories and stop there, or you may wish to edit your stories and be confident readers clearly understand.
For memoir writing you should not use words to impress your reader, but rather use your natural language. Do not use words beyond your best vocabulary unless the words clarify your meaning more precisely. Your natural language is your everyday expressions, the vernacular. This natural language is used in informal situations and gives your personal history color, individuality, and variety. Even when writing dialog, use the essence of the actual speaker. Capture their personality and attitude. Editing is still important when we use the vernacular.
The language for your stories should be consistent with the tone of the events. Humor is written with a different tone than is a spiritual experience, one being light hearted with the use of hyperbole (exaggeration) while the other more sober and formal.
After writing your first draft, keeping the above tips in mind, you are ready to edit. That four-letter-word for writing is often one which is neglected for many reasons. Most people really do not know how to edit. They do not know where to begin nor understand that editing differs from proofreading.
The goal of editing is to make your reading more easily read. You must use language in a way that you do not call attention to the language, but leave the focus on the story. Language should clarify the meaning you wish to convey. The attention should be on what you wish to express and not how you express it. However, clarity is required for that result.
Books have been written on the many approaches to editing, but with the limited space of a blog, only highlights can be addressed. For the next few articles, various aspects of editing will be examined in more detail. The areas covered are as follows:
.............Educate yourself on grammar and punctuation rules.
.............Draft as many versions as needed for clarity.
.............Incorporate word and sentence variety.
.............Take time to read your story aloud.
Editing takes time. If you feel overwhelmed in the process, just focus on particular sections or aspects of the procedure. As you attempt to edit using the various methods, you will become more aware of proper writing, and you will improve the first few drafts as well as your over all writing. After corrections have been made, you will see your personal writing style emerge. If you are interested in creating that final draft to ensure clarity of your stories, be patient and work methodically toward that end. Perfection takes time.
©Aulicino 5 Dec 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Breathing Life into Your Stories
There are several methods to bringing your story to life and avoiding the chronicling of mere facts. These processes help you breathe life into your characters and your story’s environment in order to create a full, dimensional picture. Life is multi-faceted with layers upon layers of complex feelings, emotions, and actions. Your characters must come alive and exhibit those traits. You must engage your reader into caring about your characters.
Each of the techniques below goes beyond the mere stating of facts. In order to get your reader involved in your story, you must be involved. In order for you to be involved, you must create a picture in your reader’s mind that resembles what you see in your mind’s eye when you relive the story. Your story must be full of details, but written in a descriptive, creative way. However, do not go to the extreme with adding details or you will lose the movement of the plot.
The methods used for enhancing your story and making it come alive include:
1. Developing your characters
2. Being descriptive and using imaginative language
3. Setting the tone or mood
4. Having an stimulating opening paragraph
5. Using exciting verbs and a variety of sentence structures
6. Using various literary devices such as Foreshadowing and Flashback
7. Using a point of view which best allows you to tell the story
(These topics will be addressed in more detail in furture blogs.)
These techniques can be divided to help you focus on developing your characters and your story setting. Use the following questions to guide you.
Character Development:
1. Have you shown the character’s personality and physical traits through their actions in the story? Do your characters pop off the page with personality or are they only two dimensional?
2. Do the characters show their action and reactions rather than you just stating those behaviors?
3. Do you show what motivates your characters?
4. Do you make your characters’ world real to the reader?
5. Have you researched your character or the times in which your character lived to add depth to the story? Often doing this research helps you recall small facts about the situation.
6. Are you introducing too many characters at once, so the reader cannot bond to any of them? If you do not develop your characters the reader will not care about them.
Story Structure:
1. Is your opening paragraph exciting? Have you used an event to capture the reader’s interest? Have you considered flashback?
2. Have you set the tone or mood of your story by using words to describe the scene rather than just stating the setting?
3. Is there some type of conflict or struggle in your story, and do you build the action to that point?
4. Do you use imagery which brings the story alive and underscores the action? Has your description included some of the five senses?
5. Have you used imaginative language in imaginative ways? Is your story burdened by clichés, boring verbs, or repetitive words? Is your sentence structure redundant? Have you created your own similes and metaphors?
6. Are you showing as well as telling your story? Are you using your character’s actions to tell the story?
7. Do you loose your reader with the lack of transitions between paragraphs?
8. Have you foreshadowed major events? Give your reader a clue that something exciting is coming.
9. Do you use a Point of View which works best for the story?
Remember: In life there is drama, and your stories need to reflect life. It is important to put yourself into the story to understand the characters and their motivation. This helps your reader care about your characters and become involved with the story.
Your story’s heart is beating...^./\...^./\...^./\
Emily
©Aulicino, Nov 2008
Each of the techniques below goes beyond the mere stating of facts. In order to get your reader involved in your story, you must be involved. In order for you to be involved, you must create a picture in your reader’s mind that resembles what you see in your mind’s eye when you relive the story. Your story must be full of details, but written in a descriptive, creative way. However, do not go to the extreme with adding details or you will lose the movement of the plot.
The methods used for enhancing your story and making it come alive include:
1. Developing your characters
2. Being descriptive and using imaginative language
3. Setting the tone or mood
4. Having an stimulating opening paragraph
5. Using exciting verbs and a variety of sentence structures
6. Using various literary devices such as Foreshadowing and Flashback
7. Using a point of view which best allows you to tell the story
(These topics will be addressed in more detail in furture blogs.)
These techniques can be divided to help you focus on developing your characters and your story setting. Use the following questions to guide you.
Character Development:
1. Have you shown the character’s personality and physical traits through their actions in the story? Do your characters pop off the page with personality or are they only two dimensional?
2. Do the characters show their action and reactions rather than you just stating those behaviors?
3. Do you show what motivates your characters?
4. Do you make your characters’ world real to the reader?
5. Have you researched your character or the times in which your character lived to add depth to the story? Often doing this research helps you recall small facts about the situation.
6. Are you introducing too many characters at once, so the reader cannot bond to any of them? If you do not develop your characters the reader will not care about them.
Story Structure:
1. Is your opening paragraph exciting? Have you used an event to capture the reader’s interest? Have you considered flashback?
2. Have you set the tone or mood of your story by using words to describe the scene rather than just stating the setting?
3. Is there some type of conflict or struggle in your story, and do you build the action to that point?
4. Do you use imagery which brings the story alive and underscores the action? Has your description included some of the five senses?
5. Have you used imaginative language in imaginative ways? Is your story burdened by clichés, boring verbs, or repetitive words? Is your sentence structure redundant? Have you created your own similes and metaphors?
6. Are you showing as well as telling your story? Are you using your character’s actions to tell the story?
7. Do you loose your reader with the lack of transitions between paragraphs?
8. Have you foreshadowed major events? Give your reader a clue that something exciting is coming.
9. Do you use a Point of View which works best for the story?
Remember: In life there is drama, and your stories need to reflect life. It is important to put yourself into the story to understand the characters and their motivation. This helps your reader care about your characters and become involved with the story.
Your story’s heart is beating...^./\...^./\...^./\
Emily
©Aulicino, Nov 2008
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