From time to time, some of the attendees of the writing classes I facilitate allow me to post their memories to share with all of you. This is one of those. Thank you Lee.
MY WEEK WITH JESUS, JOSEPH AND CHER
To appreciate this experience to
the fullest, you must imagine our house in a suburban neighborhood of Salt Lake
City, Utah. Nice big lots, manicured lawns, children playing on the streets,
and a Mormon Church around the corner and down two blocks. This peaceful
looking setting typifying what most folks thought of as pure Americana, was
anything but. We were smack dab in the middle of the most dedicated followers
of the John Birch Society. In a Mormon neighborhood, all social activities are centered
on the church and its various auxiliaries. When you have a bishop who has
strong political leanings and presides over a congregation of about 500 people,
you will have a neighborhood that is usually in line with what is being preached
at the local church.
I
was already on the list of people to watch as I had supported the reelection of
the Democratic Governor with a poster in my front window. That caused my yard
to be toilet papered and have trashcans emptied on the front lawn on a regular
basis during the previous election season.
It was during the summer
of 1969 I received a phone call from my sister Judy to tell me that she
and husband Tim would be coming to Utah for a few days to visit. They were
going to come by bus because they were stopping along the way to visit the
small towns and didn't know exactly when they would arrive. They were finding
the sights in Southern Utah interesting. Since Judy and Tim never traveled without
best friend Bill, I was wondering where would I put three guests when Judy informed
me that they were camping along the way and would I have room for their tents
in our yard? I told her not to worry as we had a big yard surrounded on two
sides by a cinder block wall, and we were on the corner.
Two days later, mid afternoon on a lovely summer day, Mark (my son, not
the apostle) came running into the house and said, “Mom you better come and
see this, I think it’s Aunt Judy.”
Remember, this is 1969, in the full flush of hippi-itus, tie dye, love
beads, flowers in her hair etc….
I walked out to the front
yard and coming up the middle of the street was a small parade, and it looked
like Jesus, Joseph, and Cher leading, followed by most of the young children in
the neighborhood.
Following the parade was a sheriff’s car.
We were about four blocks from
the nearest bus stop, and it looked as though they had gathered all the
children in a parade. In a Mormon neighborhood, that can be a whole lot of
kids.
I really didn't know whether to laugh or cry,
so I laughed until I cried!
If you have ever been in a Mormon Chapel you
will see a picture of Jesus. Their version has long slightly curling hair sun streaked light brown, a well-trimmed beard, and piercing blue eyes which is interesting when you think about the fact that Jesus was a Sephardic Jew and
would be rather dark. Tim could have been the model for the picture, and today
he is wearing a long flowing thing that looked like a robe and sandals.
Bill,
with his slightly receding widow’s peak, and trimmed goatee, was a dead ringer
for the Mormon profit Joseph Smith. Where he found his frock coat would remain a
mystery
Then we have sister Judy, about
5’7’, a size 5 and long dark hair parted in the middle, looking like Cher
before Cher met her plastic surgeon. She was wearing a tie died, long drapey
thing, bell-bottoms, and sandals. A whole lot of beads and a flower behind her
ear completed her look of the day.
As they turned into our
driveway all those nice little kids, who looked like the rats following the
Pied Piper immediately stopped at the edge of our lawn. This was the house
of the Democrat and we can’t go any further, we could catch something. They
just stood there looking toward the house.
Our visitors dumped tents
and backpacks in the back yard, we all went into the house, and after they were settled with cold drinks, we noticed the kids in the neighborhood began to disperse I told Judy I was surprised they arrived here so soon. I assumed they
would be stopping in the little towns along the way. Cher, in a very serious
manner informed me “those fucking bigots just don’t get what make love not
war is all about. Seeing that they didn't appreciate our life style we
decided not to grace them with our presence.”
Now why did that not surprise me?
I could have warned them but this was a lot more fun. There are some things in
life that are either so funny or outrageous that you just never forget them. I
was soon to learn that I would have a whole week I would never forget.
The dinner hour was approaching
and while I prepared for a cook out, they set up their tents, took showers, and got ready to settle in for a week.
Since they didn't spend any time exploring the little towns, they could
spend more time with us because they didn't have to be in Colorado for 10 days.
Yippee! Did I want to know what they were going to do in Colorado? It was
business, Jesus informed me, a pot grower’s convention. I picked my jaw off the
floor and thought how could they say these things with a straight face?
I requested that they not tell anyone in the
neighborhood if asked and most of all, my husband Val. Val and I already had
many a discussion about my family and friends, and he was convinced that my
sole purpose in life was to embarrass him.
For the next week Val managed
to leave early and come home late; business called. I asked Judy if Mom and Dad
knew where she was. “Oh yeah, she was happy I was coming to see you, but when I
told her we would probably hitchhike and camp along the way, they had a fit. She
was crying and carrying on, so I promised we would take the bus. I don’t know
what their problem is.” Yep, that was our flower child.
Then the fun began the
next morning. I was making coffee in the kitchen when I heard “Maaa-um the hippies are up.” I knew it wasn't one of my kids
so I peaked out the back door to discover at least five kids sitting on top of
the block wall and one was the designated spy and reporter to the busy body
next door. Of course that just inspired the hippies. They started out the
morning by sitting at the table in the yard and rolling their early morning
joint. “Maaa-um, they’re rolling cigarettes, maaa-um, they’re smoking.” “Maaa-um, the one that looks like Jesus is
making out with Cher!”
Oh boy this is going to be a long week.
As soon we finished
breakfast, I packed a picnic lunch and loaded Jesus, Joseph, and Cher along with
my children in the station wagon and off we went. I figured they would like to
visit the forests in Big Cottonwood Canyon. I found a campground and let them
hike through the woods. Is it asking too much Lord to let them get lost for a
couple of days? They’re hippies, they could live off the land, and it was
fairly warm. I guess He thought it was too much to ask as they returned in time
for our picnic.
We arrived home after dark,
and I was hoping that the neighborhood excitement had worn off, but there she
was, the spy sitting on the wall waiting for the hippies. I told her to get
down from the wall or I would call the police. She slowly climbed down while
yelling, “Maaa-um, she’s gonna call the cops!”
The next morning there
were several kids sitting on the wall, and they politely informed Cher that
they were sitting on their side of the wall, so there!
I packed us all up again
and headed up Parley’s Canyon so they could see where the pioneers first saw
the Salt Lake Valley. We then headed up to Park City, which at the time was
still a little mining town with little wooden houses clinging to the sides of
the hills. We wandered around until most of the day was gone, getting back to
the house after dark seemed the best solution to avoid the spies.
The next day Judy and I
went grocery shopping. I convinced Jesus and Joseph to stay and guard the tents
and watch my kids. We made it through the market with only a few turned heads and
whispers.
When we arrived home we prepared a lunch and took off up Little
Cottonwood Canyon. They loved being out in nature, and I loved leaving them out
in nature. We spread around a lotta love. We returned home a little before
sunset and sure enough a whole group of kids were sitting on the wall, waiting
to watch and report.
The next day we went to
the Great Salt Lake, and drove around parts of the city I thought they would
enjoy seeing. Keeping them out of the yard until sunset was an all day job!
I couldn't put it off any
longer, the next day we would go downtown to Temple Square.
I suggested to Judy that maybe
they should consider dressing up a bit as we would be going to the visitors’
center and they would be required to wear shoes, shirts, etc.
When they appeared, Tim had on a
cleaner robe thingy, Bill had a clean tie-dye under his frock coat and Judy had
on some bell-bottoms that she had decorated herself and a bunch of new beads.
They were ready so off we went.
Temple Square is the heart
of Salt Lake City. It is at least two city blocks square, and the blocks in SLC
are about twice as long anywhere else and very wide. Brigham Young had a four oxen, and it had to
be able to turn in a full circle from the middle of the road. The Temple Square
area downtown is quite lovely with big old trees; there were park benches, a
statue of Joseph Smith, the tabernacle the temple and in the corner, a one room
pioneer hut that had been original to the site.
The big three were
completely blown away when they saw the statue of Joseph Smith. He looked just
like Bill, frock coat and all! They were not the only ones who were impressed.
In a matter of minutes there was a line of tourists who wanted a picture of
Bill with Joseph. Then Jesus and Joseph Oh, this just kept getting better. In
the meantime I lost track of Cher. I walked over to the pioneer hut, and there
was Cher twirling around on the dirt floor. When she saw me she cried, “Isn't this just fabulous?” I confess I could
not see anything fabulous about living in a hut about 12’x 12’ with a dirt floor
and no windows. She twirled herself against the wall and started laughing. “No
I don’t mean the hut; I mean all those people who think those two out there
look like Jesus and Joseph!”
“I love camping but this hut is
too much, those pioneers must have been nuts!” We both laughed until someone
came to the door and two little old ladies were remarking that it was just
uncanny how much those two looked like Jesus and Joseph. One said, “Do you
think they are really Mormons?” To which
Judy replied, “Those two guys out there? Nah they just look like hippies to me”
What a day! I don’t know
if word ever reached any church authorities that Jesus and Joseph visited Temple
Square that day. They surely missed an experience. It took about another hour
to get J & J away from their admirers and cameras. We walked through
downtown and toured some more of the historical sites. People stared but no
one stopped and asked for a photo op, and I think the guys were a little
disappointed. Their 15 minutes of fame lasted at least two hours; that is more
than most people get.
It seems that not being
able to roll weed and smoke at will was putting a damper on their time in Salt
Lake City. When we arrived home they organized so that they could leave first
thing in the morning. We had one last cook out in the yard with a few kids
sitting on the wall, and I could see the wheels turning in Judy’s head. I
warned her, “What ever you are thinking of doing, don’t! I have to live here
after you are gone.”
I have thought about that
time and some of the things that Judy and I did a few years later when she and
son Joey moved to Salt Lake City. No matter that she was older; she was still a
hippie in her heart. She was kind, generous and funny, and I miss her every
day. She died at 35, and I can still hear her say, “I just know I will not ever
be an old person so I need to do everything while I can.” She did.
-- Lee
V.
Jun 2013
*****
Thank you Lee!
Hope you enjoyed it!
Emily
27 Jun 2013
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1 comment:
I laughed out loud! Great story! Kaethe W.
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